For most of us, the idea of singing in front of others is a terrifying prospect. It brings up our worst fears: showing our emotions in front of others and exposing our vulnerability.
We feel we're going to be judged, found lacking, and then we're right back in the school yard again, feeling five and mortified.
It doesn't have to be this way, however. All the fears expressed above are ones we all share, usually learnt very early on in life, programmed responses. The answer is to change the programming, over time. Being comfortable in public is a learnt response the same as any other.
The challenge when we sing is to get out of the head (the home of the ego and our fears) and into the body, the energy of which is centered in the heart. Heart to head creates thinking, head to heart creates wisdom of feeling.
When we're in head energy we are expressing a big 'no', questioning and judging everything we do, controlling the song with an uptight diaphragm (a huge wall of muscle in the center of the body we use to breathe and emote) and not giving ourselves a chance.
When we're in heart energy we're having much too good of a time to worry about stuff like that. We're in the moment, we let go and have fun with the attitude of 'let's see what happens and what I'm capable of'.
Because when we try desperately to control the song so we don't mess up, or words pertaining to said action, we stop ourselves from ever finding out what we're capable of, which can only happen when we let go.
Try this experiment:
Close your eyes and imagine yourself singing. Feel the resistance and fear and whatever comes up. Now take your attention down to the center of your heart. Just open your mind and feel its energy for a minute or so. Try to let go and not to judge, and notice any resistance you have while doing this.
Now laugh and feel it in the center of the solar plexus (bottom center of the ribs to about 2 inches below). Try to laugh and 'surrender' to the diaphragm, like jumping off backward into a pile of pillows. Let it do the laughing. Now sing a note and let the diaphragm feel and express the note.
This should feel very different from the fear you felt only a few seconds before. The trick is to do just that - trick the mind into heart energy so that it works with you rather than against you.
And the path from resistance to change is to go gently, first simply noticing, then showing the subconscious the path you'd like to change.
Be Authentic
The mind tells us we have to be 'good' to sing. Put two singers on a stage, however, one of them trained with a good tone and no soul, and the other with no training, an average voice and lots of soul, and the audience will like the singer with soul every time. Of course, put a singer up on stage with skill and soul and they'll be ecstatic, but people tend to be a lot nicer and forgiving than we give them credit for. To us, we've been dreading it the past two weeks, for them it's four or five minutes out of their lives that will be forgettable or not depending on our performance.
The irony is although all of us work so hard at keeping it together, when we see a performer who risks just being themselves, we love them for it. Because that's something we all would like to do, but are trained pretty much from birth not to do. Which is why singing is so challenging. To sing with any true integrity, we have to let go and allow ourselves to be vulnerable in front of an audience, and simply sing the song for ourselves and be authentic, who we truly are.
Walking around in our heads all the time translates as a constricted and tight diaphragm as we stress and/or rush around. When we surrender, and give the power of the song to the diaphragm, we find that it knows how to sing and we're just along for the ride.
The diaphragm was made to sing and emote, not just breathe. And so when we give it the power it can stretch out and have some exercise and freedom. So, in essence, when we sing we're doing it for ourselves. Because it feels good and because the diaphragm needs to be given the emotional car keys and then takes us out for a spin. Singing then feels fun, and a release, like flying.
How do I 'surrender', you may ask? As you emotionally let go, try to do so with the idea of 'let's see what happens'. If you feel resistance to that, nervousness for example, then try and include rather than reject the feeling. The more we reject our feelings, the more they become our primary focus of attention! Say 'yes' to the feeling. Once we know that it is OK to be afraid and we accept that emotion, it loses so much of its power and we're able to let in other, truer feelings.
Once again, this is a learnt response, but if you can program it in your body, you'll find yourself enjoying singing, connecting with your true voice and gradually finding the audience and their opinion of you a secondary concern, which in turn will help you (and them) relax and enjoy the experience.
As you can see from the article above, singing isn't as difficult as it might at first seem. It's relatively easy to find your true voice and connect with the joy of singing when you understand your instrument and how to use it. To learn more, view comprehensive singing lessons online, develop your voice and join our ever growing community check out my website at http://singingfromthecenter.com/
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